Because Stephen Colbert is already married.

It all started when, after I had taken cookies or some other baked good to work, someone remarked on what a good wife I would make.

My response: "What's in it for me?" And I meant it. I can't really see an upside, for me personally, to being one half of a couple.

It's only recently that I started to truly embrace my identity as a spinster. For one thing, when I was in my twenties, I think I figured I would change my mind when I got older. That biological clock would start to tick, I was sure. A friend once mentioned to me that hers was ticking, and described the longing she felt whenever she would see a baby or small child. I thought about it, and realized that I feel something similar when I see a puppy, but babies I can take or leave.

I just turned 32, which is the same age as Meg Ryan's character in When Harry Met Sally when Sally and Harry have this conversation:
Sally: No, no, no, I drove him away. AND, I'm gonna be forty.
Harry: When?
Sally: Someday.
Harry: In eight years.
Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there, like some big dead end. And it's not the same for men. Charlie Chaplin had kids when he was 73.

Unlike Sally, I don't feel the pressure to find a partner so I can have kids. Sure, there are other aspects of my life that I would have liked to be farther along by now, but all in all, I'm doing okay. I'm working on a novel and as of today I'm pretty pleased with the progress I'm making; I don't love my job, but in this economy it's nothing to turn my nose up at; and I finished a marathon last weekend (okay, it was a half marathon, and I walked, but still); and I have wonderful friends and family.

I do wish my career and my ass were both in better shape, and that I wasn't starting to get gray hair and tiny wrinkles under my eyes. But can a husband help me with these things? Not unless he has multiple careers as a life coach, personal trainer, plastic surgeon, and colorist.

The gist, I suppose, is that I am a whole, fulfilled person without a partner. Not that I look down on people who are part of a couple. I don't look at my married/committed friends and think "Ooh, boy. She'd sure be better off single." However, I'm quite certain it's not the right lifestyle choice for me.

Who knows? I might change my mind someday. But since I am definitely not budging about never ever being a mommy (that is a post for another day), there's no rush, is there?